The Lifeguard Is Watching
Beginning its life as a monologue about a negative experience swimming in a public pool, ‘the lifeguard is watching’ is a reprint of the story ‘Eight O’clock in the Morning’ by Ray Nelson, in the form of a photographically illustrated zine.
‘Eight O’clock in the Morning’, released in 1963, its first illustrated version came in the 80’s inside the comic ‘Alien Encounters’ where Bill Wray curated the story into a graphic novella. This Later inspired the movie ‘They Live’, directed by John Carpenter in 1988.
Using the visual languages of bookmaking and typesetting from the 60’s and motifs from Wray and Carpenter’s stories, the zine uses three models to represent,
Nada (India), The Alien (Ishbel) and Lil (Abbie) to aid in the telling of this story.
‘Eight O’clock in the Morning’, released in 1963, its first illustrated version came in the 80’s inside the comic ‘Alien Encounters’ where Bill Wray curated the story into a graphic novella. This Later inspired the movie ‘They Live’, directed by John Carpenter in 1988.
Using the visual languages of bookmaking and typesetting from the 60’s and motifs from Wray and Carpenter’s stories, the zine uses three models to represent,
Nada (India), The Alien (Ishbel) and Lil (Abbie) to aid in the telling of this story.
Transcript
To the Resdient of my deapest darkets fears;
So, I just came back from swimming for the first time in 10 years, swimming for the first time as an adult, swimming for the first time alone. I was incredibly nervous beforehand and like dreading it. I think I had pretty much taken like a vow to the idea that I’d probably like not swim for a very long time and then this project was now like okay, I think I can, I don’t know I think I can do it. I had to go buy swim trunks and goggles. I was googling like. “How does swimming work” like “how do I swim in a lane pool”. Um, I was really nervous on the way there, I had to listen to Lizzo to like hype myself up. um.
Anyway, I was in this like little cubicle getting changed I just like, I think I was in this small dark cubicle feeling so enclosed and so trapped but like I had to like, like that like. there was only A DOOR I like, I feel so stupid for saying like “there was only one door” but like there was only one door and it led to the pool, so I had to like. I also paid 5 pounds, so I was like, mph. I have to follow through with this now. Umm.
I think swimming is incredibly vulnerable for me because it’s like, it’s like not wearing a lot of clothes in public, it’s not wearing my glasses, which I didn’t think would be such a big issue, but I was like, I couldn’t see anything, I was like squinting at the time or I couldn’t see it at all.but, like, something I didn’t expect was how like embarrassed I was about my ability to swim. I thought I’d be so concerned about my body that like swimming would just happen but like the worries about my body sort of like flushed away. and I was like “I’m not very good at swimming”. my mind went like completely blank and I could, the only thing i could think, was like... “I look like such an idiot”.
I felt so intimidated by the fact that the lifeguards were watching us like I understand watching us because of like safety and like we might drown, but like I was like oh that look at me just being shit at swimming. I was like, oh, the only thing that kept running through my head was “I can’t swim” “Oh my God I can’t swim?” “oh” “I, I’m, I’m” “Oh my God I’m, what why can’t I swim?” like “how do, how do you swim?” “why am I so bad breathing right now?” “why am I so out of breath?” I think I did like literally 5 rounds again I don’t know equal them and then I was like “OK, I’m just going to get out now” and I sort of waddled. “Waddled”. I walked to my cubicle. and. I just like stood there. I got outw of my trunks and like put the towel to my face. I think my immediate thought was like “Oh my God” I was very overwhelmed. and just like, “what have I done, why have I don’t that, oh my god, errr, I hate everything.” blah blah blah. and then I took a breath and I was like “it’s fine, it’s over” “you did, it just like get changed and walk out.” I really took my time though, I didn’t expect to take my time so much, I was really processing what happened. I had a lot of emotions after. I think I’m happy, no I’m not happy_ I’m like proud of myself for doing it and following through with it. But I didn’t enjoy it it wasn’t pleasurable.
I expected, I expect one of two things: either I have like a full breakdown and like I’m awful and I need someone to come save me, or I’m like “wow, that was amazing I I was like flowing in the waterl But it didn’t happen, it didn’t come, I was too, I was too, in my head to like enjoy the feeling of the water. Um, I couldn’t let go out of myself and just like swim. Um. I had a chocolate bar that I didn’t eat yesterday and I like ate it on the way back and it reminded me of like when you’re a kid and you bring a snack for after swimming lessons in school and you’re like walking back from the swimming thing and eating your chocolate, like “oh that’s a word familiar feeling” I do I have anymore thoughts about my swimming trip? it was fine.
Am I glad I did it? I wish I had liked it. I think it would have been nice to have liked it. It would have been nice to enjoy myself. I think it would take a lot of work for me to get to a place where I can enjoy myself swimming and I just don’t have enough of an interest to that. i feel good that I got up early and did something productive coz it is currently, what? like ten. and I’ve been up since eight. but I would have got the same thing but I went to the gym or if I went shopping early so or from other walk alright no mixed emotions I think I’m I think I’m better on land.
Sincerly, the lifeguard is watching.
To the Resdient of my deapest darkets fears;
So, I just came back from swimming for the first time in 10 years, swimming for the first time as an adult, swimming for the first time alone. I was incredibly nervous beforehand and like dreading it. I think I had pretty much taken like a vow to the idea that I’d probably like not swim for a very long time and then this project was now like okay, I think I can, I don’t know I think I can do it. I had to go buy swim trunks and goggles. I was googling like. “How does swimming work” like “how do I swim in a lane pool”. Um, I was really nervous on the way there, I had to listen to Lizzo to like hype myself up. um.
Anyway, I was in this like little cubicle getting changed I just like, I think I was in this small dark cubicle feeling so enclosed and so trapped but like I had to like, like that like. there was only A DOOR I like, I feel so stupid for saying like “there was only one door” but like there was only one door and it led to the pool, so I had to like. I also paid 5 pounds, so I was like, mph. I have to follow through with this now. Umm.
I think swimming is incredibly vulnerable for me because it’s like, it’s like not wearing a lot of clothes in public, it’s not wearing my glasses, which I didn’t think would be such a big issue, but I was like, I couldn’t see anything, I was like squinting at the time or I couldn’t see it at all.but, like, something I didn’t expect was how like embarrassed I was about my ability to swim. I thought I’d be so concerned about my body that like swimming would just happen but like the worries about my body sort of like flushed away. and I was like “I’m not very good at swimming”. my mind went like completely blank and I could, the only thing i could think, was like... “I look like such an idiot”.
I felt so intimidated by the fact that the lifeguards were watching us like I understand watching us because of like safety and like we might drown, but like I was like oh that look at me just being shit at swimming. I was like, oh, the only thing that kept running through my head was “I can’t swim” “Oh my God I can’t swim?” “oh” “I, I’m, I’m” “Oh my God I’m, what why can’t I swim?” like “how do, how do you swim?” “why am I so bad breathing right now?” “why am I so out of breath?” I think I did like literally 5 rounds again I don’t know equal them and then I was like “OK, I’m just going to get out now” and I sort of waddled. “Waddled”. I walked to my cubicle. and. I just like stood there. I got outw of my trunks and like put the towel to my face. I think my immediate thought was like “Oh my God” I was very overwhelmed. and just like, “what have I done, why have I don’t that, oh my god, errr, I hate everything.” blah blah blah. and then I took a breath and I was like “it’s fine, it’s over” “you did, it just like get changed and walk out.” I really took my time though, I didn’t expect to take my time so much, I was really processing what happened. I had a lot of emotions after. I think I’m happy, no I’m not happy_ I’m like proud of myself for doing it and following through with it. But I didn’t enjoy it it wasn’t pleasurable.
I expected, I expect one of two things: either I have like a full breakdown and like I’m awful and I need someone to come save me, or I’m like “wow, that was amazing I I was like flowing in the waterl But it didn’t happen, it didn’t come, I was too, I was too, in my head to like enjoy the feeling of the water. Um, I couldn’t let go out of myself and just like swim. Um. I had a chocolate bar that I didn’t eat yesterday and I like ate it on the way back and it reminded me of like when you’re a kid and you bring a snack for after swimming lessons in school and you’re like walking back from the swimming thing and eating your chocolate, like “oh that’s a word familiar feeling” I do I have anymore thoughts about my swimming trip? it was fine.
Am I glad I did it? I wish I had liked it. I think it would have been nice to have liked it. It would have been nice to enjoy myself. I think it would take a lot of work for me to get to a place where I can enjoy myself swimming and I just don’t have enough of an interest to that. i feel good that I got up early and did something productive coz it is currently, what? like ten. and I’ve been up since eight. but I would have got the same thing but I went to the gym or if I went shopping early so or from other walk alright no mixed emotions I think I’m I think I’m better on land.
Sincerly, the lifeguard is watching.